[ the contents of aleksander's comprehensive folder on her are all the warning she needs in order to know there's nothing in that photograph she would ever want nikolai to witness. shame returns the color to her face, bright-hot and unbearable. he's already seen it, but her sting of horrified humiliation makes her clumsy and forceful, fingers knocking against his in her rush to rip it from his hand. the force of her pull crinkles it — a saving grace that obscures the naive, lovesick expression peering back at her, too wide-eyed and trusting.
the girl in the photograph looks more and more like a stranger to her as each day goes by. not for the splay of brown hair over the luxurious silk, or the unblemished lines of her body before aleksander had stained it with his touch, but the spark behind her eyes — alive and daring to exist. free to be happy, right before she had been dragged into hell. not for the first time, she's filled with the urge to tell that girl to run without looking back. alina stares for a moment longer, tormenting herself with the sight, before she crumples it into a ball in her fist. ]
I don't want to talk about it, [ she says, quick, cutting off that possibility at the stem before it can grow roots. while she can accept trading her help for the favor he's done in handing it to her, she can't bear his pity, after all that's been said. if their argument had taught her anything, it's only how right she had been to choose to face this alone. her eyes burn, but she blinks it away, letting the photograph drop onto the desk for now. ] Just forget that you saw anything.
[ she circles around its side, thumbing back open the folder. there are still documents to sort through, contracts she hasn't read, and too much to figure out; she hunches over it, pressing her fingers into the ache starting to radiate from her temples, and ignores just how tightly the walls are pressing in on both of them. ]
You got what you wanted. Now you and Zoya can move onto whatever step is next in your plan. [ her eyes cut to him beneath her eyelashes. there are no illusions between them that this is the reason he came, not anymore. nikolai walking out the door is expected when he has more schemes to scheme, and precious little time to stop his father's dealings. more than that, she's stopped waiting for more from him. ] Go.
no subject
the girl in the photograph looks more and more like a stranger to her as each day goes by. not for the splay of brown hair over the luxurious silk, or the unblemished lines of her body before aleksander had stained it with his touch, but the spark behind her eyes — alive and daring to exist. free to be happy, right before she had been dragged into hell. not for the first time, she's filled with the urge to tell that girl to run without looking back. alina stares for a moment longer, tormenting herself with the sight, before she crumples it into a ball in her fist. ]
I don't want to talk about it, [ she says, quick, cutting off that possibility at the stem before it can grow roots. while she can accept trading her help for the favor he's done in handing it to her, she can't bear his pity, after all that's been said. if their argument had taught her anything, it's only how right she had been to choose to face this alone. her eyes burn, but she blinks it away, letting the photograph drop onto the desk for now. ] Just forget that you saw anything.
[ she circles around its side, thumbing back open the folder. there are still documents to sort through, contracts she hasn't read, and too much to figure out; she hunches over it, pressing her fingers into the ache starting to radiate from her temples, and ignores just how tightly the walls are pressing in on both of them. ]
You got what you wanted. Now you and Zoya can move onto whatever step is next in your plan. [ her eyes cut to him beneath her eyelashes. there are no illusions between them that this is the reason he came, not anymore. nikolai walking out the door is expected when he has more schemes to scheme, and precious little time to stop his father's dealings. more than that, she's stopped waiting for more from him. ] Go.