[ his mouth almost quirks into a smile at the obvious lie, knowing all too well why it's necessary for her to voice it when he frequently opts for the same tactic. to state something he wishes were true lends a feeble sort of credibility to it. he can at least take comfort in knowing he said it at all, meaningless as it is. her fingers wrinkle his collar, keeping him anchored close as pages flutter to the floor, ugly secrets and hidden truths spread between them — and still, he doesn't look down. ]

Alina. [ a soft breath pushes out of him while he carefully measures his words. the thing he feels inside of him seems so simple, the ever-growing blossom of everything he feels for her. the affection, the want, the curiosity. the desire to do everything with her, to say everything to her, to share his most mundane thoughts alongside the feverish ideas that are either disastrous or brilliant or both. he wishes he could lift it out of himself and present it to her to see, his heart wide open in his hands to show her that this is real, that every part of him wants every part of her.

words don't feel like enough. he doesn't feel like enough despite every assurance she's given him, but nonetheless he tries to assign meaning to the pulsing ache inside of him that's both thrilling and terrifying at once. he presses the edge of his thumb to the corner of her eye when she looks up, a tear wetting his skin. ]

Because every time you're gone... and every time I'm gone, I miss you. Because I didn't think you'd say yes if I asked you to come over just to try on the stupid but incredibly nice crown. Because I think — I love you. [ he takes another breath, wincing slightly at his words, swallowing down the waver in his throat. ] No — I don't think. I know. I do. I love you. And I understand that doesn't fix everything that's wrong between us, but — I want you to know that I am in love with you, Alina Starlight, with my entire heart.