[ it's the old barb that always seems to be stuck in his side, the barb that he pushes deeper into himself so that no one else can catch him off guard and do it for him. he wouldn't dare make light of his tenuous birthright with anyone he didn't trust, but alina falls into that small circle now, and while he expects for his comment to be glossed over, she surprises him yet again by knowing exactly the words to say that he didn't know he needed to hear. there's no protest or objection, nothing so condescending as denying what he knows in his heart to be true. what she offers him is even more valuable. acceptance. and coming from her, it carries even more weight, because he knows she's intimately acquainted with what it's like to not quite fit in.
alina makes him feel seen for the first time in what feels like ages. not as the prince or the privateer or the soldier or the bastard son. just as nikolai. just as the parts of himself that he's hidden for so long that he almost began to forget them.
he might never find another who accepts his shortcomings like this. certainly no queen bred to be on a throne would see the humor in it. most days, nikolai can barely find it himself.
for the millionth time, he's reminded of how much is at stake here. of how much he wishes for this. of how he'll accept a rejection with a smile but how badly it will hurt to hear it. ]
Just one of my many good qualities. [ he nuzzles her soft skin with a faint smile, sucking another bruise to her inner thigh. ] Don't worry. I'll make up for the silence later.
[ then he dips down between her legs, settling comfortably as he kisses the warm wetness there. the sheets will be dirty and there will be rumors. right now he can't find it in him to care so much about that. he presses his tongue against the rosebud of her clit, sucking gently as he teases her, savoring her heat and taste. saints, mal is a fool if he never did this, but nikolai is grateful to him all the same for the late start. it means that maybe this is something that she'll remember him for. maybe only him, if he's lucky.
his tongue moves faster while he gently sinks one finger inside of her, allowing her several moments to get used to the feeling before he moves again, in and out slowly, all the while working her with his mouth. he glances up to catch a glimpse of her face, hoping for a favorable outcome while he hums softly, releasing a warm breath over. ]
It's exquisite down here. [ he grins cheekily before kissing her clit again, his tongue moving swiftly. in all honesty he means it, as ridiculous as it might sound. it is exquisite, and so satisfying to finally have a taste. ]
no subject
alina makes him feel seen for the first time in what feels like ages. not as the prince or the privateer or the soldier or the bastard son. just as nikolai. just as the parts of himself that he's hidden for so long that he almost began to forget them.
he might never find another who accepts his shortcomings like this. certainly no queen bred to be on a throne would see the humor in it. most days, nikolai can barely find it himself.
for the millionth time, he's reminded of how much is at stake here. of how much he wishes for this. of how he'll accept a rejection with a smile but how badly it will hurt to hear it. ]
Just one of my many good qualities. [ he nuzzles her soft skin with a faint smile, sucking another bruise to her inner thigh. ] Don't worry. I'll make up for the silence later.
[ then he dips down between her legs, settling comfortably as he kisses the warm wetness there. the sheets will be dirty and there will be rumors. right now he can't find it in him to care so much about that. he presses his tongue against the rosebud of her clit, sucking gently as he teases her, savoring her heat and taste. saints, mal is a fool if he never did this, but nikolai is grateful to him all the same for the late start. it means that maybe this is something that she'll remember him for. maybe only him, if he's lucky.
his tongue moves faster while he gently sinks one finger inside of her, allowing her several moments to get used to the feeling before he moves again, in and out slowly, all the while working her with his mouth. he glances up to catch a glimpse of her face, hoping for a favorable outcome while he hums softly, releasing a warm breath over. ]
It's exquisite down here. [ he grins cheekily before kissing her clit again, his tongue moving swiftly. in all honesty he means it, as ridiculous as it might sound. it is exquisite, and so satisfying to finally have a taste. ]