[ he only has a moment to feel the pleasant warmth of her hands, pushing willingly into her touch because he suddenly finds that he can't remember the last time anyone put their hands on him like this. relief flows through him despite the hardness in alina's gaze, but it's swiftly snatched away when a sudden searing pain cuts straight through him. the source, at first, is a mystery to him. the darkling? the monster? a single moment of agony stretches out like an eternity before him, pulled so taut that he thinks time itself might shatter. that he might shatter.
it's alina, illuminating him from the inside out, and he'd walked readily into it. clever girl. it's something he would do if the situation required him to take advantage of some lost, broken, dangerous thing before him. he can't fault her for this, and yet a part of him feels wounded with the sting of betrayal.
his hands tightly clasp alina's wrists, blunt nails digging into her skin while a cry escapes his throat. the monster rears inside of him, explosive with anger, and nikolai is caught in the balance, tilting this way and that but no matter where he falls, all he feels is a pain unlike anything else. perhaps this is worse than the darkling turning him into this beast. his mind is too scrambled to compare. ]
Alina, stop, please — [ his knees give out as he sinks to the floor, gasping in a desperate breath between gritted teeth. is he dying? is this how he will go? at the sun summoner's hand?
blackness ripples beneath his skin, dark, spidery veins crawling up his throat. his eyes bleed to black and talons push from his fingers, sinking like barbs into alina's forearms. when he bares his teeth they're sharp now, needle-like fangs cutting through his gums.
the voice that echoes isn't his own. it's the darkling's. ]
You can't make me bow to you.
[ but then the monster weakens, and perhaps it's working, but nikolai doesn't have the presence of mind to realize it. his eyes shift to hazel once more, stinging as they begin to water with pain. ]
Alina — stop —
[ blood wets his fingers where his claws still gouge alina's flesh, and then he's gone again, pupils replaced with shining obsidian. it's the darkling's voice that speaks again, raw and angry, sounding more monster than man, but also closer to breaking than before. ]
yes. just yes.
it's alina, illuminating him from the inside out, and he'd walked readily into it. clever girl. it's something he would do if the situation required him to take advantage of some lost, broken, dangerous thing before him. he can't fault her for this, and yet a part of him feels wounded with the sting of betrayal.
his hands tightly clasp alina's wrists, blunt nails digging into her skin while a cry escapes his throat. the monster rears inside of him, explosive with anger, and nikolai is caught in the balance, tilting this way and that but no matter where he falls, all he feels is a pain unlike anything else. perhaps this is worse than the darkling turning him into this beast. his mind is too scrambled to compare. ]
Alina, stop, please — [ his knees give out as he sinks to the floor, gasping in a desperate breath between gritted teeth. is he dying? is this how he will go? at the sun summoner's hand?
blackness ripples beneath his skin, dark, spidery veins crawling up his throat. his eyes bleed to black and talons push from his fingers, sinking like barbs into alina's forearms. when he bares his teeth they're sharp now, needle-like fangs cutting through his gums.
the voice that echoes isn't his own. it's the darkling's. ]
You can't make me bow to you.
[ but then the monster weakens, and perhaps it's working, but nikolai doesn't have the presence of mind to realize it. his eyes shift to hazel once more, stinging as they begin to water with pain. ]
Alina — stop —
[ blood wets his fingers where his claws still gouge alina's flesh, and then he's gone again, pupils replaced with shining obsidian. it's the darkling's voice that speaks again, raw and angry, sounding more monster than man, but also closer to breaking than before. ]
You're nothing without me.