[ as he watches her pull the music box out, it strikes him suddenly that he doesn't know how he got here, to this specific moment in time where things just keep moving forward as if it's all natural. fighting this entire scenario for so long has left him somewhat ill-prepared to tackle it. after dominik, there was never supposed to be anyone else. he's as dramatic as they come — one lost love was enough to cement his decision to give up on the possibility of everything. with many other pursuits and passions to occupy his mind, chasing love wasn't even hard to give up after his heart had been so thoroughly and publicly shattered. he embraced the notion, even.
leave it to him to find the one person who doesn't regularly read about his life and likely has no idea about what'd happened. he suspects the only reason she even knew about morozova's blow to his family was because of her ties to him and not an avid interest in the financial papers. it's refreshing, mostly. he's glad to be able to introduce himself the way he wants to be seen instead of how everyone else has decided he should be. but there's a small part of him that realizes he'll have to talk about decidedly personal things about himself at some point, and not a single cell in his body is looking forward to deconstructing his own complicated armor for the sake of letting someone else in.
so no, he has no idea how he ended up here, with alina visiting his home, a bottle between them that is likely to spill some unsavory secrets, his own desire to kiss her mounting with every passing moment. he was never supposed to do this again.
he breaks off his thoughts to rejoin the present, smiling hopefully as she traces her fingers along the engravings. ] But I wanted to.
[ and perhaps that's the most surprising thing of all to him, that he wants this, and all the things that come with it. he busies himself with the bottle, pouring two glasses. ]
It's ridiculous because we haven't been taking part in these longing stares by the pond. The koi love to witness the embarrassing spectrum of human emotions. Who are we to deny their entertainment?
[ he takes the music box and sets it aside so he can push her drink into her hand instead, clasping her other one in his. ]
To you. [ he clinks their glasses together. ] For being a good sport about my fantasies. And for allowing me to sexually frustrate you with my dawdling pace. I'm happy you're here, Alina. Truly. I honestly didn't think that I'd ever have anyone to watch the sunrise with again.
no subject
leave it to him to find the one person who doesn't regularly read about his life and likely has no idea about what'd happened. he suspects the only reason she even knew about morozova's blow to his family was because of her ties to him and not an avid interest in the financial papers. it's refreshing, mostly. he's glad to be able to introduce himself the way he wants to be seen instead of how everyone else has decided he should be. but there's a small part of him that realizes he'll have to talk about decidedly personal things about himself at some point, and not a single cell in his body is looking forward to deconstructing his own complicated armor for the sake of letting someone else in.
so no, he has no idea how he ended up here, with alina visiting his home, a bottle between them that is likely to spill some unsavory secrets, his own desire to kiss her mounting with every passing moment. he was never supposed to do this again.
he breaks off his thoughts to rejoin the present, smiling hopefully as she traces her fingers along the engravings. ] But I wanted to.
[ and perhaps that's the most surprising thing of all to him, that he wants this, and all the things that come with it. he busies himself with the bottle, pouring two glasses. ]
It's ridiculous because we haven't been taking part in these longing stares by the pond. The koi love to witness the embarrassing spectrum of human emotions. Who are we to deny their entertainment?
[ he takes the music box and sets it aside so he can push her drink into her hand instead, clasping her other one in his. ]
To you. [ he clinks their glasses together. ] For being a good sport about my fantasies. And for allowing me to sexually frustrate you with my dawdling pace. I'm happy you're here, Alina. Truly. I honestly didn't think that I'd ever have anyone to watch the sunrise with again.