i was as well, alina. you know better than anyone else why i can't let this go. it's the same reason you can't, either.
[ a lengthy pause stretches between his messages as he reads and rereads her words. this isnβt an equation you can magically solve. she sounds like dominik, when the thing between them had fragmented beyond repair and yet nikolai still was unwilling to let him go. sudden doubt plagues him. maybe he should let this go before it can ever get to that dark point β or are they already there, quicker than he could have imagined, but no less inevitable? he isn't a believer in karma, but β hypothetically β he certainly has his share due.
finally, after enough time has passed that she likely thinks he's dropped this conversation entirely β ]
you sound like someone that i loved once. if i was prone to entertaining things i can't see, i'd say it almost sounds like an omen. it's a bad habit. for me to ignore everything else when i get caught up in my schemes. chasing preoccupation, as someone used to call it. i'm sorry. i'll be more mindful of it next time. i can still send a car around if you want to hit me.
no subject
you know better than anyone else why i can't let this go.
it's the same reason you can't, either.
[ a lengthy pause stretches between his messages as he reads and rereads her words. this isnβt an equation you can magically solve. she sounds like dominik, when the thing between them had fragmented beyond repair and yet nikolai still was unwilling to let him go. sudden doubt plagues him. maybe he should let this go before it can ever get to that dark point β or are they already there, quicker than he could have imagined, but no less inevitable? he isn't a believer in karma, but β hypothetically β he certainly has his share due.
finally, after enough time has passed that she likely thinks he's dropped this conversation entirely β ]
you sound like someone that i loved once.
if i was prone to entertaining things i can't see, i'd say it almost sounds like an omen.
it's a bad habit. for me to ignore everything else when i get caught up in my schemes. chasing preoccupation, as someone used to call it.
i'm sorry. i'll be more mindful of it next time.
i can still send a car around if you want to hit me.