sorry to disappoint. serial killing is not really my thing. that mal has commentary on my sex life is truly something else. he sounds almost as shameless as me. he also sounds like he has a bit of an obsession, which i can't entirely fault him for. it is me, after all. i think on most days i don't particularly want to hear about your past lovers, but morozova falls into a different category. you know what they say. know thy enemy, and all. i work best under pressure, personally speaking.
i'd say you're equally shameless, but in different ways. in his defense, he didn't randomly bring it up. in MY defense, i didn't randomly bring it up either. it was part of a much larger conversation. ps: when they said "know thy enemy", i don't think they meant learning about how he fucks. just a hunch. i can believe that. something tells me you've been working under pressure your entire life.
i don't know if i'm keen on the idea of being equals. do you have commentary on my sex life? do tell. healthy curiosity and a rampant thirst for knowledge are two of my key defining traits. nothing is off limits, not even morozova's bedroom habits. you might be right. it's why i display such diamond-like qualities. i'm sure you've noticed what a gem i am.
that better be because your pride can't handle not being superior in something, and not because i compared you to mal. i can't really have any commentary on something i know nothing about, can i? hmm, i'm not sure that rampant thirst is for knowledge if you're talking about aleksander's bedroom habits. i've also noticed you're great at deflecting with terrible jokes, but i'm letting it slide this time.
can't it be both? in theory, yes, but i find that everyone has opinions on things they know nothing about. why not this, too? i might be fixating. it's another one of my lovable habits. how angry do you think he'll be if he finds out we're so close? i assume he displays all the traits of someone terribly controlling. i'm great at everything. just a forewarning.
no, it can't be both. don't be an ass. first: am i "everyone"? second: i think this is just a trick to get me to fantasize about you. he isn't worth fixating on. you're flattering him. he'd love that. he'll be more than angry than humanly possible, but i don't want to think about his controlling habits. bad memories.
[ an understatement of the century. ]
don't lie. i remember that you admitted that you're terrible at being "as bold of a flirt as mal." aren't you so glad you're so quotable?
you're certainly not everyone. but you're not fantasizing about me? now i just feel so alone. of course. we don't have to talk about it. i only asked to begin to get ahead of this. he will eventually find out. but rest assured, alina, i'll be whatever you need me to be in that moment. you won't be alone. that's a promise. i wouldn't say i admitted to being terrible. just slightly not up to snuff in that regard. sometimes it can be quite the burden. i do love to talk.
then you'd best remember not to lump me in with them. as a "true student of the scientific method", i'm going to collect that data for myself. not right this second. i usually do all of my nikolai lantsov fantasizing on quiet, lonely nights when i have the house to myself. you're sweet. have i told you that? i'm lucky to have you. i just need you to be there for me, that's all. if you want to fight him, i won't hold you back. i was reading between the lines, and it said "terrible." which is honestly funny to me, because you've been flirting with me since the second we met.
i look forward to your findings. oh. if i was a blusher, i'd be blushing right now. i will admit that thoughts of you pop into my head at unpredictable times, so i don't have official alina starkov fantasy hours. you have, but i like to be reminded. and i'm always up for a impromptu battle of honor. have i? it's almost as if i've liked you since the second we met. isn't that curious?
i'll be sure to put them in thesis format for you. "oh." are you really that surprised? i'll take that as a challenge, by the way. especially because i have seen you blush before. it's cute. i thought your fantasy hours were "all the time" since i've been taking up real estate in your head. thank you for defending my honor. i'm not going to admit how that makes me feel. it is very curious. mostly because it took me an entire day to realize you were flirting with me and not just being, well, you.
yes and no. it's what i'd hoped to hear, but i also don't allow myself to assume too much. you must have imagined it. i'm far too shameless to blush. unofficially, yes. they are "all the time." and i will admit that you are quite distracting. i once spent an entire afternoon imagining how you'd look in earmuffs with little rabbit ears on them. your honor remains intact and needs no defending. i just wouldn't pass up an opportunity for physical confrontation with dear aleksander. truthfully, a part of me thought you were going to stuff me into a washing machine and leave me there in the first few moments of our conversation.
nikolai, i think it would have been safe to assume that i'm attracted to you. i've only been dropping very direct hints you refuse to pick up on. sure you don't. you should have no problem putting that to the test, then. is this your way of telling me i look like a rabbit?? because i was going to be flattered, and now i'm not sure if i should be insulted. oh, of course. it's just the testosterone talking. typical men. i considered it for a few seconds. more than a few seconds, actually. it's not every day someone tries to steal your washing machine.
i thought we were playing a game of hard to get. test away. i won't blush. dear god, alina. what do you have against rabbits? they're one of nature's most adorable gifts to us. they're highly intelligent and social creatures, and they make wonderful companion pets. in my head you were also extremely endearing with bunny ears. i was quite charmed. i may have a bit of pent up anger there. for the record, i never intended to steal it. i did intend to sneak my laundry in with yours if you weren't looking, though. good thing you were looking.
do you want to play a game of hard to get? because i think you're only signing yourself up to be tortured, if that's the case. we'll see about that. that's one game you won't win. i'd challenge you now, but i can't see your face. you'd just lie. i'll have to wait. they also have huge teeth. are you saying something about my teeth? just a bit. i can't blame you for that, though. in what world did you think i wouldn't notice another woman's lingerie in my laundry? zoya and i aren't even the same size. that was a horrible plan.
will you be doing the torturing? if so, show me where to sign. i would say i'm offended that you would accuse me of being untruthful, but really i'm quite pleased that you know me so well already. don't take this the wrong way, alina, but you are absolutely dreadful at accepting compliments. there is no universe in which my dreams of you laughing in the snow with fuzzy ears on your hand would be an insult. your cheeks were pink. your eyes were shining. the snowflakes complimented your hair. why would i spend an entire afternoon crafting this exquisitely pure fantasy if i didn't find myself completely enamored by it? it was not a horrible plan. its success relied greatly on my charm. i'm confident i could've pulled it off.
obviously. torturing you is my new favorite hobby. i'm starting to think you're a bit of masochist, nikolai. i can sense your mischief from miles away. plus it's less fun if i can't see you blush (which you do) in person. i don't get a lot of compliments. you're the first person i've met who is so forward with them. i don't know how to react to them. find me a pair of earmuffs and i'll make your fantasy become a reality one day. it wouldn't have been charming when you started sorting through my underwear to find zoya's bodysuit. i would have thought you were some kind of deranged thief.
for those i care for, i'm willing to endure an endless amount of suffering. perhaps i might even enjoy some of it. well, i think it's safe to say that i trump both aleksander and mal in that regard. you already knew i was special, but just take this as further confirmation of my superiority. challenge accepted. two gifts, then. am i not handsome enough to make deranged panty thief work for me? would you have called the cops? can you imagine both lantsov sons getting arrested on the same night for two wildly different reasons? i'm almost a bit sad for the missed opportunity.
i think you would enjoy all of mine. how much do you think you could endure? because i’m confident i could break you in five seconds. there was never any question in my mind that you’re superior to aleksander, but i won’t give that mal comparison the time of day. you’re handsome enough to pull of deranged panty thief now that you’re not a stranger, i guess. but i would have punched you myself. you probably would have enjoyed that.
more than five seconds, i'm sure. i'm extremely difficult to break. it's a byproduct of the ego. mal would probably agree with me. i know he has some sense knocking about in that very solid skull of his. i suppose i would have deserved it. and it's true, i might have even enjoyed it. a little healthy confrontation keeps me young. i'm glad it didn't go that way, though. i wouldn't have wanted to risk you never speaking to me again. i wouldn't have even known your name. it's extremely difficult to woo someone without a name.
so more like ten seconds. your arrogance is going to be your downfall, lantsov. that's what happens when you understimate me. i wouldn't count on it. you and mal agreeing on anything would be a miracle. i might have still spoken to you. after you cleared your name. like i said, i'm very difficult to woo. i would have enjoyed seeing whether you could have solved the mystery of my name or not, at least.
at least twenty, maybe? are you so interested in breaking me? i assure you, there's nothing but more of the same beneath the surface. i'm like an onion, but all of my layers are consistently handsome and charming. we both agree on you, clearly. oh, i would've solved it. i would describe you in detail to everyone i spoke to until someone recognized you. considering you've never been to one of my soirees, it might have taken a bit longer than expected, though. but i'm very determined once i decide to do something. and i was very taken by you right from the start.
that's a generous estimation. fifteen. and all of those layers make people weep. i'm getting the feeling your idea of me breaking you isn't the same as mine. i just think you could stand to have your self-control tested and lost for a few hours, that's all. you both agree on me in very different ways, so comparing yourself to mal is a little ridiculous. that makes two of us. it just took me a couple of minutes longer to thaw out. though i'm glad i didn't embarrass myself by trying to kiss you in your car. i considered doing it for a few seconds.
do you ever meet someone and realize you didn't even know they were exactly what you were missing in your life? that's how i feel about you. you've probably already guessed that, but just in case you haven't.
twenty-five. and they weep with joy. oh. well, then. are we talking handcuffs and blindfolds? hours, you say? let's stop talking about mal. i would've kissed you back. but i'm also a bit glad that we've held out for so long. i think it will make our moment that much sweeter. and i've gotten to know so many other adorable things about you.
i knew what i was missing. i was sort of missing it on purpose, but then you put a wrench in my plans by coming along and filling that empty space without warning. i think i've done a poor job of trying to stop it. but to be honest, i don't really want to stop it. i keep telling myself that the stars will catch me when i fall for you. and that it won't hurt.
negative two seconds. i did say hours. is that too greedy? or are you afraid you can't keep up? maybe not blindfolds. yet. i'd rather watch you look at me. i bet you would look perfect after i've teased you for hours. sorry, is talking about mal ruining the mood for you? the veranda incident must have really traumatized you. it's funny that you'd call anything about me adorable after i've threatened to punch you in a hypothetical scenario. i'm glad i didn't, though. i think i would have worried you liked me for all of the wrong reasons. but it's still been a test of my patience. accept the blame for that, nikolai.
i have a habit of coming in like a hurricane. i'm very hard to get rid of, so i wouldn't bother trying to stop it if i were you. why trust the stars for that when i'm right here? i won't let it hurt.
nothing you ask could be too greedy. is this your plan to make me blush? it sounds a bit like cheating. i just don't want to think about him. i want to think about you and these hypothetical scenarios that sound like they won't remain hypothetical for long. i certainly didn't want you to get the wrong impression. if all i wanted to do was sleep with you, we would have by now. that's just one of the things i want to do with you. is that what this is? punishment for trying your patience? you've been the very picture of poised this entire time, though it seems to have left some aggression in you. which i also don't mind, to be clear. although i'm not quite sure about losing my self control. i tend to keep my wits about me.
like a surprise meteor shower, more like. those tend to be painful depending on your proximity. i don't want you to worry about that part, though.
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that mal has commentary on my sex life is truly something else. he sounds almost as shameless as me.
he also sounds like he has a bit of an obsession, which i can't entirely fault him for.
it is me, after all.
i think on most days i don't particularly want to hear about your past lovers, but morozova falls into a different category. you know what they say. know thy enemy, and all.
i work best under pressure, personally speaking.
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in his defense, he didn't randomly bring it up. in MY defense, i didn't randomly bring it up either.
it was part of a much larger conversation.
ps: when they said "know thy enemy", i don't think they meant learning about how he fucks. just a hunch.
i can believe that. something tells me you've been working under pressure your entire life.
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do you have commentary on my sex life? do tell.
healthy curiosity and a rampant thirst for knowledge are two of my key defining traits. nothing is off limits, not even morozova's bedroom habits.
you might be right. it's why i display such diamond-like qualities. i'm sure you've noticed what a gem i am.
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i can't really have any commentary on something i know nothing about, can i?
hmm, i'm not sure that rampant thirst is for knowledge if you're talking about aleksander's bedroom habits.
i've also noticed you're great at deflecting with terrible jokes, but i'm letting it slide this time.
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in theory, yes, but i find that everyone has opinions on things they know nothing about. why not this, too?
i might be fixating. it's another one of my lovable habits.
how angry do you think he'll be if he finds out we're so close?
i assume he displays all the traits of someone terribly controlling.
i'm great at everything. just a forewarning.
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first: am i "everyone"? second: i think this is just a trick to get me to fantasize about you.
he isn't worth fixating on. you're flattering him. he'd love that.
he'll be more than angry than humanly possible, but i don't want to think about his controlling habits. bad memories.
[ an understatement of the century. ]
don't lie. i remember that you admitted that you're terrible at being "as bold of a flirt as mal."
aren't you so glad you're so quotable?
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but you're not fantasizing about me? now i just feel so alone.
of course. we don't have to talk about it.
i only asked to begin to get ahead of this. he will eventually find out.
but rest assured, alina, i'll be whatever you need me to be in that moment. you won't be alone. that's a promise.
i wouldn't say i admitted to being terrible. just slightly not up to snuff in that regard.
sometimes it can be quite the burden. i do love to talk.
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not right this second. i usually do all of my nikolai lantsov fantasizing on quiet, lonely nights when i have the house to myself.
you're sweet. have i told you that? i'm lucky to have you.
i just need you to be there for me, that's all. if you want to fight him, i won't hold you back.
i was reading between the lines, and it said "terrible."
which is honestly funny to me, because you've been flirting with me since the second we met.
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oh. if i was a blusher, i'd be blushing right now.
i will admit that thoughts of you pop into my head at unpredictable times, so i don't have official alina starkov fantasy hours.
you have, but i like to be reminded.
and i'm always up for a impromptu battle of honor.
have i? it's almost as if i've liked you since the second we met. isn't that curious?
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"oh." are you really that surprised?
i'll take that as a challenge, by the way. especially because i have seen you blush before. it's cute.
i thought your fantasy hours were "all the time" since i've been taking up real estate in your head.
thank you for defending my honor. i'm not going to admit how that makes me feel.
it is very curious. mostly because it took me an entire day to realize you were flirting with me and not just being, well, you.
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you must have imagined it. i'm far too shameless to blush.
unofficially, yes. they are "all the time." and i will admit that you are quite distracting. i once spent an entire afternoon imagining how you'd look in earmuffs with little rabbit ears on them.
your honor remains intact and needs no defending. i just wouldn't pass up an opportunity for physical confrontation with dear aleksander.
truthfully, a part of me thought you were going to stuff me into a washing machine and leave me there in the first few moments of our conversation.
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sure you don't. you should have no problem putting that to the test, then.
is this your way of telling me i look like a rabbit?? because i was going to be flattered, and now i'm not sure if i should be insulted.
oh, of course. it's just the testosterone talking. typical men.
i considered it for a few seconds. more than a few seconds, actually.
it's not every day someone tries to steal your washing machine.
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test away. i won't blush.
dear god, alina. what do you have against rabbits? they're one of nature's most adorable gifts to us. they're highly intelligent and social creatures, and they make wonderful companion pets.
in my head you were also extremely endearing with bunny ears. i was quite charmed.
i may have a bit of pent up anger there.
for the record, i never intended to steal it. i did intend to sneak my laundry in with yours if you weren't looking, though.
good thing you were looking.
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we'll see about that. that's one game you won't win.
i'd challenge you now, but i can't see your face. you'd just lie. i'll have to wait.
they also have huge teeth. are you saying something about my teeth?
just a bit. i can't blame you for that, though.
in what world did you think i wouldn't notice another woman's lingerie in my laundry? zoya and i aren't even the same size.
that was a horrible plan.
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i would say i'm offended that you would accuse me of being untruthful, but really i'm quite pleased that you know me so well already.
don't take this the wrong way, alina, but you are absolutely dreadful at accepting compliments. there is no universe in which my dreams of you laughing in the snow with fuzzy ears on your hand would be an insult. your cheeks were pink. your eyes were shining. the snowflakes complimented your hair. why would i spend an entire afternoon crafting this exquisitely pure fantasy if i didn't find myself completely enamored by it?
it was not a horrible plan. its success relied greatly on my charm. i'm confident i could've pulled it off.
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i'm starting to think you're a bit of masochist, nikolai.
i can sense your mischief from miles away. plus it's less fun if i can't see you blush (which you do) in person.
i don't get a lot of compliments. you're the first person i've met who is so forward with them. i don't know how to react to them.
find me a pair of earmuffs and i'll make your fantasy become a reality one day.
it wouldn't have been charming when you started sorting through my underwear to find zoya's bodysuit. i would have thought you were some kind of deranged thief.
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perhaps i might even enjoy some of it.
well, i think it's safe to say that i trump both aleksander and mal in that regard. you already knew i was special, but just take this as further confirmation of my superiority.
challenge accepted. two gifts, then.
am i not handsome enough to make deranged panty thief work for me? would you have called the cops? can you imagine both lantsov sons getting arrested on the same night for two wildly different reasons? i'm almost a bit sad for the missed opportunity.
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how much do you think you could endure?
because i’m confident i could break you in five seconds.
there was never any question in my mind that you’re superior to aleksander, but i won’t give that mal comparison the time of day.
you’re handsome enough to pull of deranged panty thief now that you’re not a stranger, i guess.
but i would have punched you myself.
you probably would have enjoyed that.
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i'm extremely difficult to break. it's a byproduct of the ego.
mal would probably agree with me. i know he has some sense knocking about in that very solid skull of his.
i suppose i would have deserved it. and it's true, i might have even enjoyed it.
a little healthy confrontation keeps me young.
i'm glad it didn't go that way, though. i wouldn't have wanted to risk you never speaking to me again.
i wouldn't have even known your name. it's extremely difficult to woo someone without a name.
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your arrogance is going to be your downfall, lantsov. that's what happens when you understimate me.
i wouldn't count on it. you and mal agreeing on anything would be a miracle.
i might have still spoken to you. after you cleared your name.
like i said, i'm very difficult to woo. i would have enjoyed seeing whether you could have solved the mystery of my name or not, at least.
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are you so interested in breaking me? i assure you, there's nothing but more of the same beneath the surface. i'm like an onion, but all of my layers are consistently handsome and charming.
we both agree on you, clearly.
oh, i would've solved it. i would describe you in detail to everyone i spoke to until someone recognized you. considering you've never been to one of my soirees, it might have taken a bit longer than expected, though.
but i'm very determined once i decide to do something. and i was very taken by you right from the start.
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and all of those layers make people weep.
i'm getting the feeling your idea of me breaking you isn't the same as mine.
i just think you could stand to have your self-control tested and lost for a few hours, that's all.
you both agree on me in very different ways, so comparing yourself to mal is a little ridiculous.
that makes two of us. it just took me a couple of minutes longer to thaw out.
though i'm glad i didn't embarrass myself by trying to kiss you in your car.
i considered doing it for a few seconds.
do you ever meet someone and realize you didn't even know they were exactly what you were missing in your life?
that's how i feel about you. you've probably already guessed that, but just in case you haven't.
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and they weep with joy.
oh. well, then.
are we talking handcuffs and blindfolds? hours, you say?
let's stop talking about mal.
i would've kissed you back. but i'm also a bit glad that we've held out for so long. i think it will make our moment that much sweeter. and i've gotten to know so many other adorable things about you.
i knew what i was missing.
i was sort of missing it on purpose, but then you put a wrench in my plans by coming along and filling that empty space without warning. i think i've done a poor job of trying to stop it. but to be honest, i don't really want to stop it.
i keep telling myself that the stars will catch me when i fall for you. and that it won't hurt.
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i did say hours. is that too greedy? or are you afraid you can't keep up?
maybe not blindfolds. yet. i'd rather watch you look at me.
i bet you would look perfect after i've teased you for hours.
sorry, is talking about mal ruining the mood for you? the veranda incident must have really traumatized you.
it's funny that you'd call anything about me adorable after i've threatened to punch you in a hypothetical scenario.
i'm glad i didn't, though. i think i would have worried you liked me for all of the wrong reasons.
but it's still been a test of my patience. accept the blame for that, nikolai.
i have a habit of coming in like a hurricane.
i'm very hard to get rid of, so i wouldn't bother trying to stop it if i were you.
why trust the stars for that when i'm right here? i won't let it hurt.
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is this your plan to make me blush? it sounds a bit like cheating.
i just don't want to think about him. i want to think about you and these hypothetical scenarios that sound like they won't remain hypothetical for long.
i certainly didn't want you to get the wrong impression. if all i wanted to do was sleep with you, we would have by now. that's just one of the things i want to do with you.
is that what this is? punishment for trying your patience?
you've been the very picture of poised this entire time, though it seems to have left some aggression in you. which i also don't mind, to be clear.
although i'm not quite sure about losing my self control. i tend to keep my wits about me.
like a surprise meteor shower, more like.
those tend to be painful depending on your proximity.
i don't want you to worry about that part, though.
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