[ he knows what that feels like. to be unbearably tired, to have no reprieve even when he closes his eyes, drowning in his failures and his guilt and wanting nothing more than to just lay down and stop. to end all of it. and it hurts something right at the center of his chest to know that alina has been carrying that as well — carrying it alone, in his absence. carrying it alone even now because he hasn't been strong enough to carry them both. ]
you've kept me going through all of this while carrying the heaviest burdens of your own. you don't need a crown. you don't even need this title forged from our marriage. it's my honor to stand beside you, alina. in that i feel unbelievably lucky. you're not weak for wanting an end to this. i only wish that i was there for you to lean on.
i admit it's not comfortable to have you see me like this. a part of me has been waiting for you to reach your limit of me. i've been wishing for it and dreading it at once because i'm the fool who's never been loved like this. dominik never saw these parts of me. you've never given me a reason to doubt you and yet i've done that all the same. i'm sorry. i truly am. you remind me every day of why i'd choose you again and again. it seems i just wasn't listening the way i should've been. but i'm listening now. i can't do this without you, either. more than that, i don't want to.
no subject
you've kept me going through all of this while carrying the heaviest burdens of your own.
you don't need a crown. you don't even need this title forged from our marriage.
it's my honor to stand beside you, alina. in that i feel unbelievably lucky.
you're not weak for wanting an end to this. i only wish that i was there for you to lean on.
i admit it's not comfortable to have you see me like this.
a part of me has been waiting for you to reach your limit of me. i've been wishing for it and dreading it at once because i'm the fool who's never been loved like this. dominik never saw these parts of me.
you've never given me a reason to doubt you and yet i've done that all the same.
i'm sorry. i truly am.
you remind me every day of why i'd choose you again and again. it seems i just wasn't listening the way i should've been.
but i'm listening now.
i can't do this without you, either. more than that, i don't want to.