ravkas | ( open post )

that's a very specific routine you have.

how does that last one help me?

we could just do the longing stares, if you'd like. it helps to assert true statements. you've got to start sounding like you believe these things. which you should, because i am handsome. but even if you don't believe them, the trick is convincing everyone else that you do.

objectively speaking, you are not unattractive.

please don't make me regret admitting that.

[ oh???? ]

you don't say? i'll admit i'm not one for being overly truthful, but sometimes it can be refreshing. besides being "not unattractive" what else do you think about me?

( well, if he asks. )

i think it's weird, the way you wear a different face for every person.
i think you've had to, though. i don't think you mean to. i think you just learned to.

i think you care a lot more than you want anyone to know, but it's hard not to see if you look carefully enough.
i think you're doing better than most anyone i know. which shouldn't be so hard, but it is. yet you still do it.

and all of that matters much more to me than the fact that you're actually nice to look at.

[ he very much....... does not like to be read like this. ]

all of my faces are quite charming, though.

[ a beat, and then — ]

i did mean to, at the start. it was a way to get what i wanted when i couldn't just wave my fingers like the rest of my family. i had to be important. and now i suppose old habits die hard. getting beyond the surface level can be quite intimidating, but you seem to have it down to an art.

i think most people call what i do "being blunt."

i don't know. i think i just have more reason to watch you when others are too busy to. or when they think they know all they need to at just a glance.