[ the heaviness from moments before seems to have passed, something nikolai is grateful for, because he's far too weary to continue looking deeper inside of himself. he'd rather just look at alina, her eyes sparkling like bits of stardust while she tries and fails to keep a smile at bay. she's pretty all the time, but especially so in this moment, a temporary reprieve from the darkness they're running from. she isn't dressed like a saint, with golden pins in her hair and genya's handiwork brushed across her cheeks, but nikolai finds her perhaps even more radiant this way.
a quick laugh escapes him. ] Well, I suppose queens don't need to know things like that, but I'll certainly keep it in mind for the next time I want someone to innocuously die of poisoning at the dinner table.
[ he reaches for the bottle again, taking a drink while the effects finally settle in his bones, pleasantly warm, loosening knots of tension. his chest rises as he draws in a long breath, gently pushing the bottle at alina and closing his eyes. ]
Take it. Or you really might not be rid of me tonight. [ straightening, he sets one elbow on his knee and plops his cheek into the palm of his hand, gazing at her even in their close proximity. ] I'd be quite all right with a bit of bodily harm. Does that count as foreplay? Is that the sort of foreplay you enjoy?
[ It wouldn't be so terrible, she tells herself, to never be rid of him. It's a dangerous thought to entertain, but no more perilous than the inevitable silence that consumes her chambers at night. Each day, she eagerly imagines returning to it, and each night she regrets the emptiness that greets her. Freed from her duties until the morning sun rises, but never free from the thoughts that follow her, waiting until she's alone to strike.
But it shouldn't be the allure of losing themselves in a bottle that convinces him to stay as her good luck charm, emptying her thoughts of doubts and deaths and devastation. So much of it lives on in her memories alongside the ghosts of all they've lost, but this — this is a moment she would prefer to remember without a haze of alcohol clouding its edges. The bottle scrapes along stone as she pushes it aside, a temptation hidden from view, and shakes her head with a quiet, hoarse laugh. ]
Your love for danger might be your downfall one day.
[ In another life, in another time, she would fumble and fluster and flush. Here and now, she lets herself be swept away by his own courage, the boldness she sometimes envies and covets in equal measure — even if there is a rush of blood to her face, still, that she can't shake. Even if her teeth worry at her lip, wondering how much of this is Nikolai's teasing versus sincere curiosity.
But she had claimed he made others brave, and it's time to make good on that claim — and to surprise him by refusing to submit to embarrassment, if nothing else, no matter how inexperienced she may be. ]
I think I could enjoy it, with the right person. [ It's impossible not to feel self-conscious, pinned as she is by his attentive eyes, but she slowly brings herself to meet his gaze. ] I don't know. I'd have to try it to find out, wouldn't I? Not all of us are enlightened and worldly privateers.
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[ the heaviness from moments before seems to have passed, something nikolai is grateful for, because he's far too weary to continue looking deeper inside of himself. he'd rather just look at alina, her eyes sparkling like bits of stardust while she tries and fails to keep a smile at bay. she's pretty all the time, but especially so in this moment, a temporary reprieve from the darkness they're running from. she isn't dressed like a saint, with golden pins in her hair and genya's handiwork brushed across her cheeks, but nikolai finds her perhaps even more radiant this way.
a quick laugh escapes him. ] Well, I suppose queens don't need to know things like that, but I'll certainly keep it in mind for the next time I want someone to innocuously die of poisoning at the dinner table.
[ he reaches for the bottle again, taking a drink while the effects finally settle in his bones, pleasantly warm, loosening knots of tension. his chest rises as he draws in a long breath, gently pushing the bottle at alina and closing his eyes. ]
Take it. Or you really might not be rid of me tonight. [ straightening, he sets one elbow on his knee and plops his cheek into the palm of his hand, gazing at her even in their close proximity. ] I'd be quite all right with a bit of bodily harm. Does that count as foreplay? Is that the sort of foreplay you enjoy?
no subject
But it shouldn't be the allure of losing themselves in a bottle that convinces him to stay as her good luck charm, emptying her thoughts of doubts and deaths and devastation. So much of it lives on in her memories alongside the ghosts of all they've lost, but this — this is a moment she would prefer to remember without a haze of alcohol clouding its edges. The bottle scrapes along stone as she pushes it aside, a temptation hidden from view, and shakes her head with a quiet, hoarse laugh. ]
Your love for danger might be your downfall one day.
[ In another life, in another time, she would fumble and fluster and flush. Here and now, she lets herself be swept away by his own courage, the boldness she sometimes envies and covets in equal measure — even if there is a rush of blood to her face, still, that she can't shake. Even if her teeth worry at her lip, wondering how much of this is Nikolai's teasing versus sincere curiosity.
But she had claimed he made others brave, and it's time to make good on that claim — and to surprise him by refusing to submit to embarrassment, if nothing else, no matter how inexperienced she may be. ]
I think I could enjoy it, with the right person. [ It's impossible not to feel self-conscious, pinned as she is by his attentive eyes, but she slowly brings herself to meet his gaze. ] I don't know. I'd have to try it to find out, wouldn't I? Not all of us are enlightened and worldly privateers.