i thought we were playing a game of hard to get. test away. i won't blush. dear god, alina. what do you have against rabbits? they're one of nature's most adorable gifts to us. they're highly intelligent and social creatures, and they make wonderful companion pets. in my head you were also extremely endearing with bunny ears. i was quite charmed. i may have a bit of pent up anger there. for the record, i never intended to steal it. i did intend to sneak my laundry in with yours if you weren't looking, though. good thing you were looking.
do you want to play a game of hard to get? because i think you're only signing yourself up to be tortured, if that's the case. we'll see about that. that's one game you won't win. i'd challenge you now, but i can't see your face. you'd just lie. i'll have to wait. they also have huge teeth. are you saying something about my teeth? just a bit. i can't blame you for that, though. in what world did you think i wouldn't notice another woman's lingerie in my laundry? zoya and i aren't even the same size. that was a horrible plan.
will you be doing the torturing? if so, show me where to sign. i would say i'm offended that you would accuse me of being untruthful, but really i'm quite pleased that you know me so well already. don't take this the wrong way, alina, but you are absolutely dreadful at accepting compliments. there is no universe in which my dreams of you laughing in the snow with fuzzy ears on your hand would be an insult. your cheeks were pink. your eyes were shining. the snowflakes complimented your hair. why would i spend an entire afternoon crafting this exquisitely pure fantasy if i didn't find myself completely enamored by it? it was not a horrible plan. its success relied greatly on my charm. i'm confident i could've pulled it off.
obviously. torturing you is my new favorite hobby. i'm starting to think you're a bit of masochist, nikolai. i can sense your mischief from miles away. plus it's less fun if i can't see you blush (which you do) in person. i don't get a lot of compliments. you're the first person i've met who is so forward with them. i don't know how to react to them. find me a pair of earmuffs and i'll make your fantasy become a reality one day. it wouldn't have been charming when you started sorting through my underwear to find zoya's bodysuit. i would have thought you were some kind of deranged thief.
for those i care for, i'm willing to endure an endless amount of suffering. perhaps i might even enjoy some of it. well, i think it's safe to say that i trump both aleksander and mal in that regard. you already knew i was special, but just take this as further confirmation of my superiority. challenge accepted. two gifts, then. am i not handsome enough to make deranged panty thief work for me? would you have called the cops? can you imagine both lantsov sons getting arrested on the same night for two wildly different reasons? i'm almost a bit sad for the missed opportunity.
i think you would enjoy all of mine. how much do you think you could endure? because iโm confident i could break you in five seconds. there was never any question in my mind that youโre superior to aleksander, but i wonโt give that mal comparison the time of day. youโre handsome enough to pull of deranged panty thief now that youโre not a stranger, i guess. but i would have punched you myself. you probably would have enjoyed that.
more than five seconds, i'm sure. i'm extremely difficult to break. it's a byproduct of the ego. mal would probably agree with me. i know he has some sense knocking about in that very solid skull of his. i suppose i would have deserved it. and it's true, i might have even enjoyed it. a little healthy confrontation keeps me young. i'm glad it didn't go that way, though. i wouldn't have wanted to risk you never speaking to me again. i wouldn't have even known your name. it's extremely difficult to woo someone without a name.
so more like ten seconds. your arrogance is going to be your downfall, lantsov. that's what happens when you understimate me. i wouldn't count on it. you and mal agreeing on anything would be a miracle. i might have still spoken to you. after you cleared your name. like i said, i'm very difficult to woo. i would have enjoyed seeing whether you could have solved the mystery of my name or not, at least.
at least twenty, maybe? are you so interested in breaking me? i assure you, there's nothing but more of the same beneath the surface. i'm like an onion, but all of my layers are consistently handsome and charming. we both agree on you, clearly. oh, i would've solved it. i would describe you in detail to everyone i spoke to until someone recognized you. considering you've never been to one of my soirees, it might have taken a bit longer than expected, though. but i'm very determined once i decide to do something. and i was very taken by you right from the start.
that's a generous estimation. fifteen. and all of those layers make people weep. i'm getting the feeling your idea of me breaking you isn't the same as mine. i just think you could stand to have your self-control tested and lost for a few hours, that's all. you both agree on me in very different ways, so comparing yourself to mal is a little ridiculous. that makes two of us. it just took me a couple of minutes longer to thaw out. though i'm glad i didn't embarrass myself by trying to kiss you in your car. i considered doing it for a few seconds.
do you ever meet someone and realize you didn't even know they were exactly what you were missing in your life? that's how i feel about you. you've probably already guessed that, but just in case you haven't.
twenty-five. and they weep with joy. oh. well, then. are we talking handcuffs and blindfolds? hours, you say? let's stop talking about mal. i would've kissed you back. but i'm also a bit glad that we've held out for so long. i think it will make our moment that much sweeter. and i've gotten to know so many other adorable things about you.
i knew what i was missing. i was sort of missing it on purpose, but then you put a wrench in my plans by coming along and filling that empty space without warning. i think i've done a poor job of trying to stop it. but to be honest, i don't really want to stop it. i keep telling myself that the stars will catch me when i fall for you. and that it won't hurt.
negative two seconds. i did say hours. is that too greedy? or are you afraid you can't keep up? maybe not blindfolds. yet. i'd rather watch you look at me. i bet you would look perfect after i've teased you for hours. sorry, is talking about mal ruining the mood for you? the veranda incident must have really traumatized you. it's funny that you'd call anything about me adorable after i've threatened to punch you in a hypothetical scenario. i'm glad i didn't, though. i think i would have worried you liked me for all of the wrong reasons. but it's still been a test of my patience. accept the blame for that, nikolai.
i have a habit of coming in like a hurricane. i'm very hard to get rid of, so i wouldn't bother trying to stop it if i were you. why trust the stars for that when i'm right here? i won't let it hurt.
nothing you ask could be too greedy. is this your plan to make me blush? it sounds a bit like cheating. i just don't want to think about him. i want to think about you and these hypothetical scenarios that sound like they won't remain hypothetical for long. i certainly didn't want you to get the wrong impression. if all i wanted to do was sleep with you, we would have by now. that's just one of the things i want to do with you. is that what this is? punishment for trying your patience? you've been the very picture of poised this entire time, though it seems to have left some aggression in you. which i also don't mind, to be clear. although i'm not quite sure about losing my self control. i tend to keep my wits about me.
like a surprise meteor shower, more like. those tend to be painful depending on your proximity. i don't want you to worry about that part, though.
you really need to be being so sweet. it only makes me want to do more terrible things to you. i never claimed i would play fairly. you can admit that i've won now. you deserve to have your own patience tested after testing mine, so maybe it is a punishment. honestly, i didn't want to scare you off. or have to deal with the humiliation of you telling me no, and that i'm moving too fast. but there's only so much i can take. especially when you're a relentless flirt. if that's the case, i'll just have to find all of your weak points. considering i'm one of them, i don't think i'll have any issue testing your self-control.
maybe. but surprise meteor showers grant wishes, too. i worry about the people i care about, and i've decided to care about you. so i'll worry about that part all i want, and you'll just have to deal with that.
quite an odd reaction to being sweet, but who am i to judge? i admit nothing. we'll see about your methods. i may very well enjoy them. you could never have scared me off. the only thing i'm afraid of is spiders. are you accusing me of moving too slowly? maybe i'm an old fashioned romantic along with being a relentless flirt. sounds like a bit of a threat, but i'm still reluctant to give that up. i normally never do and it has served me well. i don't know if you've noticed, but i'm the sort that likes to think ten steps ahead.
now who's being sweet? i just meant that there's baggage that you don't need to concern yourself with. it's all very dull and unexciting.
that's me. your resident weirdo. i'm not good with pretty words like you are. i'm much better with letting actions speak for me. i think you're just deliberately trying to provoke me now. anyway, i'm sure i could do something to scare you off. maybe. no, not at all. i'm just blaming your old fashioned romanticism (which i like, don't get me wrong) for my sexual frustration. it isn't not a threat. if we're being serious and honest here, i'd never push you into something you're uncomfortable with. we can pretend i never mentioned it.
i'm never sweet. don't go around spreading lies. you've concerned yourself with my very dull and exciting baggage. everyone has baggage. whatever it is, i'll be able to handle it.
i'm interested in hearing what your actions have to say. hmm, if you came at me in the middle of the night with an ax, maybe. but that could also be the beginning of a harrowing but exciting adventure. we could go chop down a christmas tree. we must do something about that, shouldn't we? your sexual frustration, i mean. don't pretend on my account. it's just something i've never done before. giving up control just sounds a bit... unnerving. how will i regulate my very important thoughts if not with my iron will? this brain never shuts off, you know.
oh, but your baggage has rich and famous attached to it. that's the opposite of unexciting. it's nothing. truly. pretend i never mentioned it.
the both of us trying to carry a christmas tree sounds like a recipe for disaster. we'll get crushed. that depends. are you offering? is this a negotiation? you've been leaving me to deal with it on my own for awhile. here's a plan: focus your fixation and thoughts on me. it's brilliant. i know that. thank me later.
ugh. don't remind me. it's obviously something or you wouldn't have mentioned it. don't think we won't be revisiting it at some point. we will.
we would pull it along like a little sled behind us. we could negotiate sexual favors or we could just give in like two consenting adults who've been thinking about each other for some time now. have you not enjoyed dealing with it? i enjoy thinking of you dealing with it. we could try. what measure of success you might have with me, that i cannot guarantee. but if it's something you want to do, then i'm already somewhat invested.
oh, of course. i'm sure no one would notice our tree thievery. are you going to prove you aren't actually terrible in bed? maybe. a little. but i would enjoy it more if you dealt with it. if i'm not at least a little successful, i'm probably not doing something right. but if it's something you want to do, we can try. this isn't just about me.
do you believe i'm terrible in bed? mal is just jealous he's never felt the brush of my lips. i would be too if i were him. then i'll deal with it. how unromantic that sounds. it will be more romantic in bed. it wouldn't be a reflection of your skill. like i said, i've quite literally never given up control to anyone, for anything. i've heard it can be freeing, but i still have my doubts. i'm very stubborn, you know. but i've thought about it. how it might feel to not have the pressure of your own thoughts. just for a moment. i have a lot of thoughts.
it was friendly consideration. good friends don't let you sleep with people who they think might be terrible in bed. i'm trying to decide which answer will motivate you more. is it yes, or is it no? "then i'll deal with it" is probably the least poetic thing you've ever said to me, and it's still done nothing to turn me off. it'll be a little insulting if i'm naked in front of you and you start thinking about your laundry and schoolwork. i bet you never shut up even in bed. which isn't really a problem in this case. what really matters is whether you trust me or not with something like that. do you?
[ a beat and then, because 'perhaps' is the epitome of 'very stubborn' — ]
then you're very lucky to have him as a friend. i just question the basis of this wild assumption of his, is all. i'm quite motivated either way. you do an excellent job at that. i'm not sure we'll get through this bottle of cristal or even the sunrise, for that matter. well, not laundry and schoolwork, per se, but that sort of thing does happen to me frequently. not as much with you, because you tend to already take up a good chunk of my brainpower, but in general. zoya finds it incredibly irritating. the world is a better place when i speak. i do. trust you, i mean. i would trust you with this. i've never regretted telling you anything. except maybe the thing about spiders.
something about you being "stupid rich and kind of famous", so you don't have to rely on skill when you have those things to fall back on. you have to admit he has a point. if i didn't know better, i'd think you're feeling a little impatient. too bad i can't call zoya to come lecture you if you start thinking about something other than me. that would make for an awkward story. i wouldn't go that far. i do like the sound of your voice, though. good. this would end terribly if you didn't. but i'm happy that you do. it means more than you know.
a small point. minuscule, really. and it certainly doesn't apply to me, because i was an overachiever straight from the womb. well, now that we've brought up all these delightful things to ponder, yes, i am feeling a bit impatient. but i still want to see you in these rabbit ears. it's a priority. if you tell zoya my mind wandered away in the middle of a conversation, she will fill your head with awful half-truths about me. pay her no mind at all. she is basically mal. i love the sound of my voice. isn't wonderful, isn't it? it could still end terribly, but i'm sure it will make for a grand tale several months and/or years from now. at least we'll know trust had nothing to do with it. the blame will likely fall on me, in any case, but hopefully you'll still like me despite it.
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test away. i won't blush.
dear god, alina. what do you have against rabbits? they're one of nature's most adorable gifts to us. they're highly intelligent and social creatures, and they make wonderful companion pets.
in my head you were also extremely endearing with bunny ears. i was quite charmed.
i may have a bit of pent up anger there.
for the record, i never intended to steal it. i did intend to sneak my laundry in with yours if you weren't looking, though.
good thing you were looking.
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we'll see about that. that's one game you won't win.
i'd challenge you now, but i can't see your face. you'd just lie. i'll have to wait.
they also have huge teeth. are you saying something about my teeth?
just a bit. i can't blame you for that, though.
in what world did you think i wouldn't notice another woman's lingerie in my laundry? zoya and i aren't even the same size.
that was a horrible plan.
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i would say i'm offended that you would accuse me of being untruthful, but really i'm quite pleased that you know me so well already.
don't take this the wrong way, alina, but you are absolutely dreadful at accepting compliments. there is no universe in which my dreams of you laughing in the snow with fuzzy ears on your hand would be an insult. your cheeks were pink. your eyes were shining. the snowflakes complimented your hair. why would i spend an entire afternoon crafting this exquisitely pure fantasy if i didn't find myself completely enamored by it?
it was not a horrible plan. its success relied greatly on my charm. i'm confident i could've pulled it off.
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i'm starting to think you're a bit of masochist, nikolai.
i can sense your mischief from miles away. plus it's less fun if i can't see you blush (which you do) in person.
i don't get a lot of compliments. you're the first person i've met who is so forward with them. i don't know how to react to them.
find me a pair of earmuffs and i'll make your fantasy become a reality one day.
it wouldn't have been charming when you started sorting through my underwear to find zoya's bodysuit. i would have thought you were some kind of deranged thief.
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perhaps i might even enjoy some of it.
well, i think it's safe to say that i trump both aleksander and mal in that regard. you already knew i was special, but just take this as further confirmation of my superiority.
challenge accepted. two gifts, then.
am i not handsome enough to make deranged panty thief work for me? would you have called the cops? can you imagine both lantsov sons getting arrested on the same night for two wildly different reasons? i'm almost a bit sad for the missed opportunity.
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how much do you think you could endure?
because iโm confident i could break you in five seconds.
there was never any question in my mind that youโre superior to aleksander, but i wonโt give that mal comparison the time of day.
youโre handsome enough to pull of deranged panty thief now that youโre not a stranger, i guess.
but i would have punched you myself.
you probably would have enjoyed that.
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i'm extremely difficult to break. it's a byproduct of the ego.
mal would probably agree with me. i know he has some sense knocking about in that very solid skull of his.
i suppose i would have deserved it. and it's true, i might have even enjoyed it.
a little healthy confrontation keeps me young.
i'm glad it didn't go that way, though. i wouldn't have wanted to risk you never speaking to me again.
i wouldn't have even known your name. it's extremely difficult to woo someone without a name.
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your arrogance is going to be your downfall, lantsov. that's what happens when you understimate me.
i wouldn't count on it. you and mal agreeing on anything would be a miracle.
i might have still spoken to you. after you cleared your name.
like i said, i'm very difficult to woo. i would have enjoyed seeing whether you could have solved the mystery of my name or not, at least.
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are you so interested in breaking me? i assure you, there's nothing but more of the same beneath the surface. i'm like an onion, but all of my layers are consistently handsome and charming.
we both agree on you, clearly.
oh, i would've solved it. i would describe you in detail to everyone i spoke to until someone recognized you. considering you've never been to one of my soirees, it might have taken a bit longer than expected, though.
but i'm very determined once i decide to do something. and i was very taken by you right from the start.
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and all of those layers make people weep.
i'm getting the feeling your idea of me breaking you isn't the same as mine.
i just think you could stand to have your self-control tested and lost for a few hours, that's all.
you both agree on me in very different ways, so comparing yourself to mal is a little ridiculous.
that makes two of us. it just took me a couple of minutes longer to thaw out.
though i'm glad i didn't embarrass myself by trying to kiss you in your car.
i considered doing it for a few seconds.
do you ever meet someone and realize you didn't even know they were exactly what you were missing in your life?
that's how i feel about you. you've probably already guessed that, but just in case you haven't.
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and they weep with joy.
oh. well, then.
are we talking handcuffs and blindfolds? hours, you say?
let's stop talking about mal.
i would've kissed you back. but i'm also a bit glad that we've held out for so long. i think it will make our moment that much sweeter. and i've gotten to know so many other adorable things about you.
i knew what i was missing.
i was sort of missing it on purpose, but then you put a wrench in my plans by coming along and filling that empty space without warning. i think i've done a poor job of trying to stop it. but to be honest, i don't really want to stop it.
i keep telling myself that the stars will catch me when i fall for you. and that it won't hurt.
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i did say hours. is that too greedy? or are you afraid you can't keep up?
maybe not blindfolds. yet. i'd rather watch you look at me.
i bet you would look perfect after i've teased you for hours.
sorry, is talking about mal ruining the mood for you? the veranda incident must have really traumatized you.
it's funny that you'd call anything about me adorable after i've threatened to punch you in a hypothetical scenario.
i'm glad i didn't, though. i think i would have worried you liked me for all of the wrong reasons.
but it's still been a test of my patience. accept the blame for that, nikolai.
i have a habit of coming in like a hurricane.
i'm very hard to get rid of, so i wouldn't bother trying to stop it if i were you.
why trust the stars for that when i'm right here? i won't let it hurt.
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is this your plan to make me blush? it sounds a bit like cheating.
i just don't want to think about him. i want to think about you and these hypothetical scenarios that sound like they won't remain hypothetical for long.
i certainly didn't want you to get the wrong impression. if all i wanted to do was sleep with you, we would have by now. that's just one of the things i want to do with you.
is that what this is? punishment for trying your patience?
you've been the very picture of poised this entire time, though it seems to have left some aggression in you. which i also don't mind, to be clear.
although i'm not quite sure about losing my self control. i tend to keep my wits about me.
like a surprise meteor shower, more like.
those tend to be painful depending on your proximity.
i don't want you to worry about that part, though.
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i never claimed i would play fairly. you can admit that i've won now.
you deserve to have your own patience tested after testing mine, so maybe it is a punishment.
honestly, i didn't want to scare you off. or have to deal with the humiliation of you telling me no, and that i'm moving too fast.
but there's only so much i can take. especially when you're a relentless flirt.
if that's the case, i'll just have to find all of your weak points.
considering i'm one of them, i don't think i'll have any issue testing your self-control.
maybe. but surprise meteor showers grant wishes, too.
i worry about the people i care about, and i've decided to care about you.
so i'll worry about that part all i want, and you'll just have to deal with that.
no subject
i admit nothing. we'll see about your methods. i may very well enjoy them.
you could never have scared me off. the only thing i'm afraid of is spiders.
are you accusing me of moving too slowly? maybe i'm an old fashioned romantic along with being a relentless flirt.
sounds like a bit of a threat, but i'm still reluctant to give that up. i normally never do and it has served me well. i don't know if you've noticed, but i'm the sort that likes to think ten steps ahead.
now who's being sweet?
i just meant that there's baggage that you don't need to concern yourself with.
it's all very dull and unexciting.
no subject
i'm not good with pretty words like you are. i'm much better with letting actions speak for me.
i think you're just deliberately trying to provoke me now.
anyway, i'm sure i could do something to scare you off. maybe.
no, not at all. i'm just blaming your old fashioned romanticism (which i like, don't get me wrong) for my sexual frustration.
it isn't not a threat.
if we're being serious and honest here, i'd never push you into something you're uncomfortable with. we can pretend i never mentioned it.
i'm never sweet. don't go around spreading lies.
you've concerned yourself with my very dull and exciting baggage.
everyone has baggage. whatever it is, i'll be able to handle it.
no subject
hmm, if you came at me in the middle of the night with an ax, maybe. but that could also be the beginning of a harrowing but exciting adventure. we could go chop down a christmas tree.
we must do something about that, shouldn't we? your sexual frustration, i mean.
don't pretend on my account. it's just something i've never done before. giving up control just sounds a bit... unnerving. how will i regulate my very important thoughts if not with my iron will? this brain never shuts off, you know.
oh, but your baggage has rich and famous attached to it. that's the opposite of unexciting.
it's nothing. truly. pretend i never mentioned it.
no subject
that depends. are you offering? is this a negotiation?
you've been leaving me to deal with it on my own for awhile.
here's a plan: focus your fixation and thoughts on me.
it's brilliant. i know that. thank me later.
ugh. don't remind me.
it's obviously something or you wouldn't have mentioned it.
don't think we won't be revisiting it at some point. we will.
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we could negotiate sexual favors or we could just give in like two consenting adults who've been thinking about each other for some time now.
have you not enjoyed dealing with it? i enjoy thinking of you dealing with it.
we could try. what measure of success you might have with me, that i cannot guarantee. but if it's something you want to do, then i'm already somewhat invested.
consider both unimportant topics dropped.
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are you going to prove you aren't actually terrible in bed?
maybe. a little. but i would enjoy it more if you dealt with it.
if i'm not at least a little successful, i'm probably not doing something right.
but if it's something you want to do, we can try. this isn't just about me.
for now. dropped for now.
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then i'll deal with it. how unromantic that sounds. it will be more romantic in bed.
it wouldn't be a reflection of your skill. like i said, i've quite literally never given up control to anyone, for anything. i've heard it can be freeing, but i still have my doubts. i'm very stubborn, you know.
but i've thought about it. how it might feel to not have the pressure of your own thoughts. just for a moment.
i have a lot of thoughts.
mm. perhaps.
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i'm trying to decide which answer will motivate you more. is it yes, or is it no?
"then i'll deal with it" is probably the least poetic thing you've ever said to me, and it's still done nothing to turn me off.
it'll be a little insulting if i'm naked in front of you and you start thinking about your laundry and schoolwork.
i bet you never shut up even in bed. which isn't really a problem in this case.
what really matters is whether you trust me or not with something like that. do you?
[ a beat and then, because 'perhaps' is the epitome of 'very stubborn' — ]
๐
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i'm quite motivated either way. you do an excellent job at that. i'm not sure we'll get through this bottle of cristal or even the sunrise, for that matter.
well, not laundry and schoolwork, per se, but that sort of thing does happen to me frequently. not as much with you, because you tend to already take up a good chunk of my brainpower, but in general. zoya finds it incredibly irritating.
the world is a better place when i speak.
i do. trust you, i mean. i would trust you with this. i've never regretted telling you anything. except maybe the thing about spiders.
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you have to admit he has a point.
if i didn't know better, i'd think you're feeling a little impatient.
too bad i can't call zoya to come lecture you if you start thinking about something other than me. that would make for an awkward story.
i wouldn't go that far. i do like the sound of your voice, though.
good. this would end terribly if you didn't.
but i'm happy that you do. it means more than you know.
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well, now that we've brought up all these delightful things to ponder, yes, i am feeling a bit impatient. but i still want to see you in these rabbit ears. it's a priority.
if you tell zoya my mind wandered away in the middle of a conversation, she will fill your head with awful half-truths about me. pay her no mind at all. she is basically mal.
i love the sound of my voice. isn't wonderful, isn't it?
it could still end terribly, but i'm sure it will make for a grand tale several months and/or years from now. at least we'll know trust had nothing to do with it. the blame will likely fall on me, in any case, but hopefully you'll still like me despite it.
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