if i want. didn't you get angry at me for saying something like that once?
the universe at large. good luck. you don't look sickly. you look like someone i'm lucky to be with. i understand things in our past weighing us down. i do. but i'm going to keep reminding you that the person you are at this precise moment is everything i could ever want. you're perfect, alina. as for the groveling, i'm afraid that ship has sailed until the next time i find something that i would die to see you in. which shouldn't be long because i think you'd look lovely in everything.
well, we're not talking about me. we're talking about you. i'm denying any and all of your allegations, anyway. do you want? i hear there's free space on the island of misfit toys. you can be my winged bear.
if it makes you feel better, i can pretend to believe you. i would compromise for "thank you, alina, you're so generous and thoughtful and my eyeballs feel blessed." is eternal gratitude so much to ask for?
yes. i do want. although i think i'd rather be a fox or a peacock.
when will people learn that trusting me is the best decision they'll ever make? i await for the world to catch up to my wisdom. my eyeballs do feel blessed when they look at you. especially when you wake up in the morning and your hair is going in twelve different directions.
my island, my rules. i could have said you're a pink-spotted polka-dotted elephant, you know, but i was being nice. maybe you can be a sailboat instead.
never, because we all know you're going to do something insane right after you say "trust me". the world isn't ready for you, puppy. yeah? well, you drool on your pillow. i've seen the wet spots. i can't believe you would repay my kindness by slandering me. it's unforgivable.
i think i'd rather enjoy being a pink-spotted polka-dotted elephant. i'd surely be the only one of my kind. you know how much i like to feel special.
i've never done anything insane in my life. all of my choices are soundly based in reason. i drool in your hair, too. it gets everywhere, but it's so soft that i don't particularly mind. do you think a tiara would go well with the dress?
you're a very rare polka-dotted creature, nikolai lantsov. which is good for me, because i don't think i could handle two of you.
sending your best friend to seduce your nemesis. dating the ex of said nemesis. fucking in broad daylight. throwing parties where heads crash through verandas. yeah. all soundly based in reason, obviously. that's because it likes you. every part of me likes you. or maybe it's just my secret plan to smother you in your sleep. what's next, a halo crown? save the tiara for yourself.
i don’t think i’d want there to be two of me. competing with myself would be far too taxing.
first of all, that plan is and remains to be brilliant, and it’s working. second, dating you has been one of the best decisions of my life, so i’m not sure what you hope to gain by including it in this ridiculous list. third, that was marvelous. you can’t tell me you don’t agree. fourth, that particular insane decision rests entirely on mal’s shoulders. my party can’t be blamed for his behavior. a halo crown. that’s brilliant. that’s what we need. tiaras are outdated anyway. everyone will hate us. i can’t wait.
you could get twice the work done, though. and you already have a second personality.
1) yeah, i'm sure it's working and aleksander hasn't figured out that he's being played. at all. 2) you can't tell me that dating me wasn't an insane decision. 3) it was alright, i suppose. 4) your parties can be blamed for a lot of behavior. christ, nik, it was sarcasm. this is a crown-free zone.
zoya has a remarkable effect on men, and dear aleksander isn't immune. i don't expect this to last forever, but for the moment, all is well in paradise. dating you wasn't an insane decision. to be frank, the fact that you agreed to all of this shocked me more. i still think it would have been better had we been interrupted by my mother. imagine her face. isn't it funny that mal has so much to say at my parties but absolutely nothing to say to my very generous and sincere apology? ah, too late. i've already bought one. my heart is set on it already.
whatever you say, nikolai. if i'm going to keep my blood pressure from rising, i don't want to hear about zoya anymore. you were persuasive. and fearless. it would have been better if i had gotten to hear her lecture at the dinner table, in my personal opinion. god, there's so much wrong with that question that i don't even know where to begin. well, i guess that means you can wear one for the both of us.
zoya who? it wasn't hard to be fearless. you're not particularly frightening. you're better in the enchanting department. now that would have ruined a perfectly good dinner. it had to be in the moment or not at all. it would make me look rather cherubic. perhaps you're onto something. are you all right, alina? you're nervous, aren't you?
the fact that you're still keeping secrets you don't decide to share until you absolutely have to? a 20 on the 1-10 scale.
thanks for ruining my dreams of terrorizing the population. "perfectly good" doesn't describe any of your family dinners. except for the one where your brother started choking on a chicken bone. well, it's a little like marching to our funeral. and i don't really want you to see what my relationship with aleksander is like. but most of his business partners like dealing with me more than they like dealing with him, so you'll have luck there.
his name is sturmhond. he's the part of me that needs to bend the law now and again. or meet with suspicious characters. or fly under the radar where a lantsov can't. his most jailable offense is arson, i think. but does it really count if the building belongs to your own family? it's a gray area. like accidentally setting my room on fire. like i said, he doesn't get out much. prefers to work behind a computer. he's the person i really need to be if i want to see any of my goals realized.
god, it was rather disappointing that he didn't fall out of his chair in a dramatic fashion while choking on that bone. do you think that i'll look at you differently when i do know what that relationship is like?
are we really going to talk about you in the third person? it's still you in disguise. it would have been nice to know i was dating q from james bond. you didn't think to mention this? at all? ever?
his hacking was so graceful. he's right, honestly. i chose the date the wrong lantsov. how could anyone resist his purpling face? if you don't, then you should. i'm not innocent in this, either.
i know this is going to sound ludicrous, but i don't really think about him until there's something i want to do and can't. it didn't occur to me to bring it up. i've only really employed his persona once since i met you. that was to get zoya in with aleksander.
as wonderful as it is to wax poetic about his buffoonery, i only have so many thoughts to spare on vasily. they're all used up now. in theory, i've just confessed to a crime. i personally don't think i'll look at you any differently. with more fondness, maybe. i think you're still trying to make me see some ugly side of you that doesn't exist. all your sides are exceptionally attractive.
what surprises me less than your alter-ego is that you would ever admit there's something you can't do as yourself. no? no recent urges to hack into anyone's private accounts?
in all fairness, you've confessed to a lot of crimes. if you're not harming anyone, then i'll stick to giving disapproving looks. it does exist. i think you're just being willfully blind to it. this is the first time i've brought a date that wasn't mal. i've only dragged him with me a few times. you won't get into a fist fight, but i don't expect you to like what you hear or see anyway.
the urges are always there. i deserve recognition for not causing half of the mayhem that i could. but when you're playing the long game, it means biding your time and biting your tongue.
you'll have to do a better job at showing me. do you think he'll be angry that you're seeing someone far more handsome than he is? and are you saying i'm not allowed to get into a fist fight at this very respectable event but mal was? i'm not one to let slights against the people i care about go without mention. using my words, of course. i am a gentleman, after all.
your existence is a type of mayhem all on its own. that's a compliment, if you were wondering. sort of. yeah. i have my experience with that. you know that.
i'm not sure i want to. saying he'll be angry is obvious. he doesn't like to share what belongs to him. or what he believes is rightfully his, anyway. and it makes him that much harder for me to keep him in line. aleksander likes to play games that end with mutual destruction. in mal's defense, he was owed that fistfight. you'll just have to stick to your words. you use so many of them, anyway. i know you love the sound of your own voice.
it feels like a compliment. so then you can understand some of my methods? they're unorthodox, to be sure, but they make sense to me.
does he still want you back? i've never understood the point of a game where we're both destroyed in the end. if i'm going to play, i'm going to win. you make such concessions for mal and none for me. i'm terribly wounded and the only way i'll recover is if you wear this very fashionable halo crown.
understand it? yes. endorse it? that's a lot more complicated. there has to be a better way to do what you're doing. hopefully that way has less arson.
not as much as he wants to own me. sometimes destroying yourself is worth it if it takes someone terrible out of the game. or if it keeps someone else from suffering. not that he cares about either of those things. but he knows i do. how could i when it would look so much better on you? the attention you'll get should heal your injured heart.
i will admit the arson was mostly borne of frustration. it wasn't really in the grand plan.
god, those are the worst types. the ones that think just because they saw something shine they're somehow entitled to it. i understand the sentiment but all the same i don't want you to destroy yourself. if i can find a way with less arson then you can do so as well. besides, we're doing this together. well, if we're using that logic then no one would ever get the chance to wear anything. i obviously wear everything best.
now i know it must've been terrible if you're admitting it wasn't in your plans. frustration with your family? or something else?
isn't that most men who have everything else they could ever want? when you're used to having the world, you can't stand it when you find that one thing you can't have. but it also makes you desperate enough to have a blind spot. you didn't want me involved in your games with aleksander. this is my war with him, nikolai. you can't get involved. even potato sacks?
with my father. i was trying to stop a shipment of his and couldn't. arson was the next best thing.
and you're that one thing for him. do you have a blind spot? it's true that i didn't want you involved, but now you are. didn't we say we'd stop with the secrets? i know i'm not the best person to give that particular reminder, but i'm not intentionally keeping anything from you. i don't think you'd want to hear what zoya has to say. but besides all that, are we not partners? the potato sacks are an exception due to my unfortunate burlap allergy.
oh. i'm guessing it's exactly what i think it is and not the expensive jugs of vodka he likes to drink.
mal. mal is my blind spot. i haven't done anything to help or stop whatever you and zoya are doing. i wouldn't call that involved. i'm a witness, not an accessory. pretty sure zoya is your partner in crime, anyway. so you admit there is one thing you don't wear well. i wonder if that's one of the signs of the apocalypse.
that vodka is abominable. i'd gladly set it ablaze any day. i say if you're going to be a drunkard, then at least drink something worth the drinking. i don't want my family's secrets to become mine because then they become yours. i don't want to owe you that truth.
he put the both of you through hell, didn't he? i suppose someone like him wouldn't be satisfied terrorizing just one person at a time. are you using zoya as an excuse to keep me out of this? even i have my limits. burlap is one of them.
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didn't you get angry at me for saying something like that once?
the universe at large. good luck.
you don't look sickly. you look like someone i'm lucky to be with.
i understand things in our past weighing us down. i do. but i'm going to keep reminding you that the person you are at this precise moment is everything i could ever want. you're perfect, alina.
as for the groveling, i'm afraid that ship has sailed until the next time i find something that i would die to see you in. which shouldn't be long because i think you'd look lovely in everything.
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i'm denying any and all of your allegations, anyway.
do you want? i hear there's free space on the island of misfit toys.
you can be my winged bear.
if it makes you feel better, i can pretend to believe you.
i would compromise for "thank you, alina, you're so generous and thoughtful and my eyeballs feel blessed."
is eternal gratitude so much to ask for?
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although i think i'd rather be a fox or a peacock.
when will people learn that trusting me is the best decision they'll ever make?
i await for the world to catch up to my wisdom.
my eyeballs do feel blessed when they look at you. especially when you wake up in the morning and your hair is going in twelve different directions.
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i could have said you're a pink-spotted polka-dotted elephant, you know, but i was being nice.
maybe you can be a sailboat instead.
never, because we all know you're going to do something insane right after you say "trust me".
the world isn't ready for you, puppy.
yeah? well, you drool on your pillow. i've seen the wet spots.
i can't believe you would repay my kindness by slandering me. it's unforgivable.
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i'd surely be the only one of my kind.
you know how much i like to feel special.
i've never done anything insane in my life. all of my choices are soundly based in reason.
i drool in your hair, too. it gets everywhere, but it's so soft that i don't particularly mind.
do you think a tiara would go well with the dress?
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which is good for me, because i don't think i could handle two of you.
sending your best friend to seduce your nemesis. dating the ex of said nemesis. fucking in broad daylight. throwing parties where heads crash through verandas.
yeah. all soundly based in reason, obviously.
that's because it likes you. every part of me likes you.
or maybe it's just my secret plan to smother you in your sleep.
what's next, a halo crown? save the tiara for yourself.
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competing with myself would be far too taxing.
first of all, that plan is and remains to be brilliant, and it’s working.
second, dating you has been one of the best decisions of my life, so i’m not sure what you hope to gain by including it in this ridiculous list.
third, that was marvelous. you can’t tell me you don’t agree.
fourth, that particular insane decision rests entirely on mal’s shoulders. my party can’t be blamed for his behavior.
a halo crown. that’s brilliant. that’s what we need. tiaras are outdated anyway.
everyone will hate us. i can’t wait.
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and you already have a second personality.
1) yeah, i'm sure it's working and aleksander hasn't figured out that he's being played. at all.
2) you can't tell me that dating me wasn't an insane decision.
3) it was alright, i suppose.
4) your parties can be blamed for a lot of behavior.
christ, nik, it was sarcasm. this is a crown-free zone.
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zoya has a remarkable effect on men, and dear aleksander isn't immune. i don't expect this to last forever, but for the moment, all is well in paradise.
dating you wasn't an insane decision. to be frank, the fact that you agreed to all of this shocked me more.
i still think it would have been better had we been interrupted by my mother. imagine her face.
isn't it funny that mal has so much to say at my parties but absolutely nothing to say to my very generous and sincere apology?
ah, too late. i've already bought one. my heart is set on it already.
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whatever you say, nikolai. if i'm going to keep my blood pressure from rising, i don't want to hear about zoya anymore.
you were persuasive. and fearless.
it would have been better if i had gotten to hear her lecture at the dinner table, in my personal opinion.
god, there's so much wrong with that question that i don't even know where to begin.
well, i guess that means you can wear one for the both of us.
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zoya who?
it wasn't hard to be fearless. you're not particularly frightening. you're better in the enchanting department.
now that would have ruined a perfectly good dinner. it had to be in the moment or not at all.
it would make me look rather cherubic. perhaps you're onto something.
are you all right, alina? you're nervous, aren't you?
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a 20 on the 1-10 scale.
thanks for ruining my dreams of terrorizing the population.
"perfectly good" doesn't describe any of your family dinners. except for the one where your brother started choking on a chicken bone.
well, it's a little like marching to our funeral. and i don't really want you to see what my relationship with aleksander is like.
but most of his business partners like dealing with me more than they like dealing with him, so you'll have luck there.
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his most jailable offense is arson, i think. but does it really count if the building belongs to your own family? it's a gray area. like accidentally setting my room on fire.
like i said, he doesn't get out much. prefers to work behind a computer.
he's the person i really need to be if i want to see any of my goals realized.
god, it was rather disappointing that he didn't fall out of his chair in a dramatic fashion while choking on that bone.
do you think that i'll look at you differently when i do know what that relationship is like?
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it would have been nice to know i was dating q from james bond. you didn't think to mention this? at all? ever?
his hacking was so graceful. he's right, honestly. i chose the date the wrong lantsov.
how could anyone resist his purpling face?
if you don't, then you should. i'm not innocent in this, either.
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it didn't occur to me to bring it up. i've only really employed his persona once since i met you. that was to get zoya in with aleksander.
as wonderful as it is to wax poetic about his buffoonery, i only have so many thoughts to spare on vasily. they're all used up now.
in theory, i've just confessed to a crime. i personally don't think i'll look at you any differently. with more fondness, maybe.
i think you're still trying to make me see some ugly side of you that doesn't exist. all your sides are exceptionally attractive.
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no? no recent urges to hack into anyone's private accounts?
in all fairness, you've confessed to a lot of crimes. if you're not harming anyone, then i'll stick to giving disapproving looks.
it does exist. i think you're just being willfully blind to it.
this is the first time i've brought a date that wasn't mal. i've only dragged him with me a few times.
you won't get into a fist fight, but i don't expect you to like what you hear or see anyway.
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i deserve recognition for not causing half of the mayhem that i could.
but when you're playing the long game, it means biding your time and biting your tongue.
you'll have to do a better job at showing me.
do you think he'll be angry that you're seeing someone far more handsome than he is?
and are you saying i'm not allowed to get into a fist fight at this very respectable event but mal was?
i'm not one to let slights against the people i care about go without mention.
using my words, of course. i am a gentleman, after all.
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that's a compliment, if you were wondering. sort of.
yeah. i have my experience with that. you know that.
i'm not sure i want to.
saying he'll be angry is obvious. he doesn't like to share what belongs to him.
or what he believes is rightfully his, anyway.
and it makes him that much harder for me to keep him in line. aleksander likes to play games that end with mutual destruction.
in mal's defense, he was owed that fistfight. you'll just have to stick to your words.
you use so many of them, anyway. i know you love the sound of your own voice.
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so then you can understand some of my methods?
they're unorthodox, to be sure, but they make sense to me.
does he still want you back?
i've never understood the point of a game where we're both destroyed in the end. if i'm going to play, i'm going to win.
you make such concessions for mal and none for me. i'm terribly wounded and the only way i'll recover is if you wear this very fashionable halo crown.
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there has to be a better way to do what you're doing. hopefully that way has less arson.
not as much as he wants to own me.
sometimes destroying yourself is worth it if it takes someone terrible out of the game.
or if it keeps someone else from suffering. not that he cares about either of those things. but he knows i do.
how could i when it would look so much better on you? the attention you'll get should heal your injured heart.
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it wasn't really in the grand plan.
god, those are the worst types. the ones that think just because they saw something shine they're somehow entitled to it.
i understand the sentiment but all the same i don't want you to destroy yourself. if i can find a way with less arson then you can do so as well.
besides, we're doing this together.
well, if we're using that logic then no one would ever get the chance to wear anything. i obviously wear everything best.
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frustration with your family? or something else?
isn't that most men who have everything else they could ever want?
when you're used to having the world, you can't stand it when you find that one thing you can't have.
but it also makes you desperate enough to have a blind spot.
you didn't want me involved in your games with aleksander. this is my war with him, nikolai. you can't get involved.
even potato sacks?
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i was trying to stop a shipment of his and couldn't. arson was the next best thing.
and you're that one thing for him.
do you have a blind spot?
it's true that i didn't want you involved, but now you are. didn't we say we'd stop with the secrets? i know i'm not the best person to give that particular reminder, but i'm not intentionally keeping anything from you. i don't think you'd want to hear what zoya has to say.
but besides all that, are we not partners?
the potato sacks are an exception due to my unfortunate burlap allergy.
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i'm guessing it's exactly what i think it is and not the expensive jugs of vodka he likes to drink.
mal. mal is my blind spot.
i haven't done anything to help or stop whatever you and zoya are doing. i wouldn't call that involved.
i'm a witness, not an accessory. pretty sure zoya is your partner in crime, anyway.
so you admit there is one thing you don't wear well. i wonder if that's one of the signs of the apocalypse.
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i say if you're going to be a drunkard, then at least drink something worth the drinking.
i don't want my family's secrets to become mine because then they become yours.
i don't want to owe you that truth.
he put the both of you through hell, didn't he?
i suppose someone like him wouldn't be satisfied terrorizing just one person at a time.
are you using zoya as an excuse to keep me out of this?
even i have my limits. burlap is one of them.
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